Sunday, April 26, 2009

Contentment


Interesting how contentment sneaks up on us, isn't it? It is a rainy Sunday here, my belly is full of McD's steak & cheese bagel (no egg, thank you!), I am on my second cup of coffee and I really enjoyed the message at church this morning.  I am 100% focused on all of the GOOD in my life, which so far surpasses the bad, which is where I intend to keep my mind all of the time this week.

Good:
1.  Wonderful loving husband who makes me so very happy
2.  Incredible kids, so smart and delightful (even when crabby!)
3.  Amazing family, who surround me with love
4.  The very best friends (you know who you are) that love me no matter what
5.  A roof over our heads and food in the pantry
6.  Many talents, both at work and at home, that allow me to accomplish so much
7.  A little money in the bank to help offset this period of unemployment
8.  Good health, my own and that of those I love
9.  Lovely critters, from dogs to cats to turtle, fish & hamster
10. A fabulous library full of books to keep me entertained
11. A great new hobby/business with Club Scrap--hopefully it will pay for my craft habit :-)

Bad:
1. Still no job, but heck, it has only been a week!

Thank you, God, for giving me so many wonderful blessings.  Help me keep them foremost in my mind and remember that it is through your grace that I receive them.  AMEN

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

What happens when your world explodes?


Wow. After 8 years, my company is letting me go. My job function has been eliminated, and I am no longer needed. And there is nowhere else for me to go and stay here in my home, or so it would appear. I got the news over two weeks ago, and will be unemployed in less than two weeks. But today, for the first time, the enormity of this is hitting me. For you see, it appears no one else wants me either.


I have lost jobs before, been stunned into silence and stillness and sadness, but this time is different. I was riding high, things were looking so good, and this layoff came from so far out of left field I am still somewhat breathless. It is as if someone is sitting on my chest today, even breathing is an effort. We knew there would be changes coming, but no one was supposed to lose their jobs. And yet many of us did.


So I am another casualty of the economy, yet another statistic, one more bites the dust. I hate this empty, purposeless feeling. Today is the first day I have really just felt down, felt sad, felt tired and worthless. Maybe today is the day I mourn for my lost job. I hope it passes quickly. This feeling is so unlike me that I simply cannot abide it.